News reports about people with anger issues that turn into violence are commonplace today. Road rage, family disputes and workplace violence are all results of people not being able to control their emotions and letting them get out of control in a way that hurts others.
Most of us are able to curb those violent angry feelings, but the anger and uncontrollable reactions may turn into a loss of productivity and words that hurt the ones you love most – and possibly unable to repair.
Emotional intelligence is the power to control those bad reactions and even turn them into positive emotions. Releasing anger and frustration that can build up is necessary, but it must be done in a very mindful way or risk being out of control.
Reactions to situations don’t always result in violence or verbal abuse, but could also make you feel helpless and not in control of your life and what happens to you. For example, if you’re mired in debt, getting a call from a debtor may leave you in a distressed mood and unable to function positively.
Feeling disrespected by a loved one or boss may also bring out emotions that hurt and leave you feeling helpless to counteract others’ control over your life. Finding ways to control your emotions and not let others stress you out helps build your emotional intelligence.
Emotional self-control means that you’re managing the adverse emotions and can remain calm and in control even during stressful times. Without the anger and frustrated feelings you’ll be able to diffuse the direst of situations and stay calm and collected.
It may take time and practice to learn how to control your emotions and reactions using emotional intelligence techniques. The way you respond now is a habit that you’ll need to quash before it takes over your mind and emotions – causing a less than acceptable reaction.
Developing emotional and reactional self-control involves paying close attention to the signals you get from the brain. You’ll know when the destructive thoughts are beginning to form rather than be caught off-guard and have a knee jerk reaction that you won’t be proud of.
Mindfulness is the key to getting your emotions and reactions under control. When emotions like jealousy or anger threaten to get you in trouble, try some emotional intelligence calming techniques to calm yourself and take control
One method might be to count to ten – or take deep breaths until you feel calmer. Any good distraction method can work to calm you down until you’re in control. You might also try a coping mechanism such as trying to look at the situation from another perspective.
That helps you look at the situation more realistically and helps you turn it into a more positive direction. Working on your emotional intelligence is a good way to reverse lack of self-control and other destructive habits.