Much has been written about gaining self-confidence to boost your success in career and relationships. Everyone knows that without self-confidence, you remain insecure and out of touch with others – and yourself.
Emotional intelligence breeds healthy emotions and, unlike IQ, can be developed and practiced over time. Practicing the EQ techniques will help you make better life choices and improve your relationships at work and home and become an exceptional leader of others.
To have self-confidence, you must become self-aware – that is, knowing what makes you tick. You are aware of why you have emotional responses and know how to manage them in the most effective manner possible.
For example, many people have triggers that take them from mild-mannered to angry in a second. With emotional intelligence, you’ll know where that anger comes from and be able to channel it in a way that is positive rather than negative.
The empathy you show for others is also a factor in developing self-confidence. When you understand why others are emotional and can mentally put yourself in their shoes, you are more able to relate to the causes of the emotions and respond more effectively.
You become a more self-confident person who is able to communicate with others and turn situations around from being awkward and unpleasant to understanding and connecting.
As a result of building your emotional intelligence, you’ll be able to build relationships with others. The process of navigating through emotions that factor in to all relationships takes all the elements that emotional intelligence provides.
Emotional intelligence must be understood and practiced to become skills that help you in your quest for success. You can build on these skills by focusing your intentions on developing and utilizing them to make you a better person.
Self-confidence can spur you on to become motivated in setting and achieving the goals you desire in life. With higher emotional intelligence, you become more willing to give up simple, short-term success for the vision you have for your entire life.
Better communication between the rational and emotional parts of your brain becomes easier with emotional intelligence and keeps you emotions from taking control and responding in a negative manner.
You’ll gain a self-confident perspective that lets you believe that you can be a success in life and let nothing stop you from reaching the goals you’ve set for yourself. The level of your emotional intelligence directly affects how you perform in life.
When you truly invest yourself in developing your emotional intelligence, it can transform your life – both personally and professionally – and ensure the self-confidence you need to reach the goals you’ve set for yourself.
The phrase – emotional intelligence – means exactly what the two words indicate – knowing how to channel your emotions in a mature and intelligent manner. It’s particularly important today to realize the importance of knowing how to react and respond to relationships on social media.
The original design and purpose of emotional intelligence was actually developed in 1920 by Edward Throndike who defined it as a way to manage and understand people so that you can make relationship decisions more wisely.
Although the theory of emotional intelligence was originally developed for people and personal relationships, it’s now used by organizations to improve relationships with clients and others within an organization – leading to an increase in sales and employee satisfaction.
By using techniques of emotional intelligence, you can become more aware of others’ needs and desires and meet expectations they may have. Emotional intelligence should help you become more empathetic by learning to acknowledging how others feel and how those feelings are affecting the person.
Getting in touch with your own emotions will help you be more aware of others and guide you along the path of meeting your networking concerns. When you learn how to be emotionally intelligent, you’ll be able to effectively communicate between the rational parts of your brain and what causes emotional reaction.
You’ll gather much empathy for others and understand their perspective better. Thoughtfulness and consideration on your part will be easier and so will making decisions about how to react to others’ emotions.
While social media is a great way to keep in touch with old friends and relatives who may be scattered throughout the world, it’s gained a reputation for foul language, jumping to conclusions and attacking others based on their politics or other factors.
As you develop emotional intelligence, you’ll begin to know others as you also begin to know yourself better. You’ll see how social attitudes and beliefs change over time and learn how to manage that change.
Quantitative intelligence is based on a person’s IQ and doesn’t change throughout your life, but emotional intelligence can be developed and you can score higher on the scale as you become more self-aware of your emotions.
Emotional intelligence also increases as you gain the ability to use that awareness of your emotions in a way that garners positive behavior and flexibility. While IQ has a set measurement, Emotional Intelligence can be learned.
That fact sets us apart from the animal kingdom as human beings. It can help you in your social media excursions to understand and react better to others and in turn, you will get what you want and need from this type of communication.
Self-awareness is the foundation of achieving emotional intelligence. When you become self-aware you begin to know yourself, including your emotions, behaviors and in-depth feelings. You become are the focus of attention, but you don’t have to think about it constantly.
Your self-awareness will come into focus as you react to various situations in your life. Your personality plays an important part in this puzzle and you begin to realize how different you are than others.
Humans usually begin self-awareness at about a year of age. By 1 ½ years old they become much more developed and self-aware. One study had researchers place a red dot on a toddler’s nose and then held a mirror up so they could see it.
The children who recognized their own image in the mirror touched their noses rather than the mirror’s reflection, indicating that they were more aware of themselves. Later, humans learn to be self-aware when expressing emotions and the impact it has on others.
The frontal lobe area of the brain is most involved in developing self-awareness as studies of brain imaging indicate. But, even if that area of the brain is damaged, people can still become more self-aware through dealings and interactions with others.
There are levels of self-awareness as we grow into adults. As children approach adulthood, they become more acutely aware of themselves – from differentiation as a toddler knows that the dot in the mirror is actually part of him.
After differentiation, children become more aware of their movements and are able to identify that they are the reflection in the mirror rather than someone else. The level of permanence appears when children are able to identify themselves in pictures and videos.
The highest level of self-awareness is self-consciousness (meta self-awareness) where they can recognize how they may appear to others. As self-awareness emerges, there are two types that stand out for humans – public and private.
You have public self-awareness when you become aware of the image you present to others. Those who follow rules and social expectations have public self-awareness and may behave according to what is acceptable.
Private type of self-awareness is when you know certain things about yourself, but keep it private. You may have moments of anxiety about some types of situations – such as public speaking – but keep that emotion to yourself.
Self-consciousness is when you become acutely aware of yourself and feel awkward with others. Emotional intelligence helps you know the difference in private and public self-awareness.
When you’re more aware of which type of emotion is causing your discomfort, you can take control and become more appreciative of the things that set you apart from others. That ability to know yourself and accept yourself for who you are is emotional intelligence.
When searching for a job in today’s volatile job market, you’re probably in competition with others who could possibly know more about how to actually perform the job than you.
You may have put together the most incredible resume, touting all your skills, achievements and your basic intelligence. But, there’s one thing that may be missing from your resume that most employers are now looking for – emotional intelligence.
Even though your skills may be finely honed for the job you’re applying for, you may have missed one thing that employers are now looking and testing for – emotional competence.
When research was conducted a few years back, results showed that those employees who had higher IQs performed lower than those with average IQs. That caused employers to sit up and take notice.
As research continued, it was proven that emotional intelligence was the key to top performing employees. Employers began to use that factor to tip the scales when it comes to deciding between various job applicants.
Emotional intelligence is intangible and is something we all have to some degree. It helps us to understand ourselves – why we think and do things and to understand others and why they make certain decisions.
The skills we gather from pursuing emotional intelligence helps us to get in control of our emotions, time and teaches us how to relate to others’ emotions and the experiences that have made them who they are.
That skill turns into one that we can use to manage people – and companies are now aware of that. They are going to hire the person who is best at socializing, recognizing social cues and who shows empathy toward others – not the person who is emotionally low on the scale.
To begin your pursuit for emotional intelligence, you must first challenge yourself to find out what you truly want from life. Emotional intelligence can provide a clear understanding of why you are like you are and where you’re headed in life.
You’ll be better able to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses – a good skill to project to a future employer and one that shows you’re competent and understanding. You’ll no longer waste your time – or the interviewers’ time – interviewing for jobs that aren’t cut out for you.
Emotional intelligence can be a great tool during an interview. Depending on your skill level of emotional intelligence, you’ll be able to pick up on subtle nuances and clues of the interviewer and better understand how to continue.
The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned and practiced. As you become more proficient in the skill you’ll be able to project yourself as a person who can effectively manage yourself and others. That will lead you to getting the job you want.
You have the wrong idea about emotional intelligence if you think it’s meant to silence you and your emotions during anger or frustration. It’s the opposite – emotional intelligence motivates you to do something about the anger and frustration of a situation in a positive and intelligent manner.
Those who are blessed with emotional intelligence understand their own psychological makeup and are better at managing stress. They’re also less likely to suffer from depression and find it easy to form positive relationships.
Motivation is what helps you meet your goals, become fulfilled and to enjoy a great quality of life. It doesn’t matter what your IQ is – if you don’t have motivation to succeed, you won’t.
There is intrinsic type of motivation which means that you love what you’re doing and are motivated within to do the right thing or be more productive in your work. You can effectively overcome hurdles and challenges because of your belief system that is intrinsic to you.
Extrinsic motivation is when you’re driven by things happening around you to achieve success. Fear of losing your job, getting a raise or promotion and other outside factors keep you motivated to come to work each morning.
An external factor such as fear of retribution may also prevent you from losing your temper at a boss or spouse. You’d rather keep the peace than risk estrangement or losing your job.
No matter what keeps you motivated, it’s emotional intelligence that keeps you on track. You find ways other than violence or anger to control a situation and make it work to your satisfaction.
With emotional intelligence fosters enthusiasm in what you do, initiative to take action and persistence in getting the job done. The positive attitude that comes with emotional intelligence lets you work out issues without negative emotions based on knee-jerk reactions rather than well-thought-out plans.
Emotional intelligence also provides the energy you need to stay motivated. Unless you stay motivated – either at work or in relationships – you risk losing what you’ve worked so hard to build.
Motivation can’t be achieved by others telling us what to do in an enthusiastic manner. Your enthusiasm has to come from the inside – from a place of emotional intelligence. This is what gives your life meaning and purpose.
You will never truly find your real purpose in life unless you get to know yourself in a way that allows you to dig deeply into your psyche for answers. Not knowing who you are or what you want in life can render you silent.
Emotional intelligence comes from knowing exactly who you are and what you want. Without it you risk the downfall of your body and mind connection and the ability to achieve what you want in life.
The business world is now using emotional intelligence testing in their job interviewing process to determine if a person has the ability to manage themselves and others. Now, the concept of how you can use emotional intelligence is permeating other areas – such as relationships and marriage.
How much better would your marriage be if you could understand your spouse’s emotions and react to them in a loving way rather than reacting badly when emotions are running high?
Emotional intelligence can help you unlock the relationship puzzle by giving you the tools needed to manage your emotions, read your spouse’s emotions and become accountable to yourself and your spouse.
There are signs in a relationship that it’s in trouble. If you feel emotionally disconnected from your spouse and are constantly angry, anxious or depressed and say things you realize you shouldn’t say and later regret, you may need to work on your emotional intelligence.
Sometimes, relationships are described as emotional rollercoasters – meaning that you’re disconnected from your own feelings and the feelings of your loved one. Emotional intelligence can help you move from being emotionally numb to emotionally balanced.
Using the tools that emotional intelligence offers can help you change the moods and attitudes that keep your relationship in jeopardy. You’ll be able to manage your anxiety and stress before it takes a toll and more able to connect wisely with your feelings and thinking process.
During the course of working on your emotional intelligence you’ll learn how to relieve stress quickly and completely. Being able to cope with the everyday stressors that come your way will enable you to stay focused and in control.
You’ll be able to effectively communicate with others to reduce conflict and overcome challenges that normally come when dealing with others. It’s a good skill to have – not only in relationships, but at work and other areas of socializing.
There are many factors that can ruin a marriage or relationship. Emotional intelligence tools can help you control the difficult emotions and thoughts that could destroy the ability to communicate with just a simple slip of the tongue.
You’ll learn how to shut down those intense emotions by focusing on other things. It will take dedication and practice, but soon you’ll be able to develop the capacity to hone in on your spouse’s feelings and understand the emotions involved.
Understanding exactly what is happening and why is a huge step in learning how to stay connected to your feelings and have the ability to remain calm during the stress that threatens your relationships.
Learning and practicing emotional intelligence techniques will help you follow through with all your hopes and dreams for your relationship rather than letting that connection you once had fall to the wayside.
Realizing the importance of emotional intelligence to your overall success and happiness is important, but you don’t need to overanalyze what’s involved in taking your emotional intelligence to a higher level.
It’s simple, really. With every step you take to build your emotional intelligence, your self-awareness and self-confidence, you’ll notice that stress, anxiety and your ability to communicate is getting stronger.
You become more effective in your communication efforts and able to empathize with those you work with and those whom you enjoy relationships with. You’ll also notice that you are more effective in meeting goals for yourself and overcoming challenges.
Rather than overanalyzing your efforts toward emotional intelligence, simply let it unfold naturally. For example, make a mental note to yourself to listen and observe carefully when you’re in a meeting or having a conversation.
Pay close attention not only to the words being said, but the emotional inflections in the voice and body language. Look for meanings behind the words and if anger or conflict is involved, try to imagine the other person’s point of view.
Don’t try to overanalyze your own feelings of anger, confusion and other emotions. Instead, work on your natural ability to shut down the anger and other negative emotions by using the tools you gain in developing emotional intelligence.
When you overanalyze, the information you feed to yourself can get bungled and may not be true. With emotional intelligence skills you’ll be able to self-regulate your thoughts and emotions and know how to deal with the negative without over-thinking the process.
Over-analyzing might also put you on the wrong path of self-discovery. Revealing negative thoughts and emotions within yourself can be depressing or make you anxious in certain situations.
Have empathy for yourself as well as others and build on your emotional intelligence quota by finding new ways to deal with the negatives in your life. Soon, it will come to you naturally – but, it takes work and practice.
Managing your emotions can be a real struggle and when you overanalyze you may be missing out on being able to control them. Addictive behaviors begin by people not being able to control their emotions.
Those behaviors include addictions to gambling, food, computer games, mindless entertainment and compulsiveness to surf the net or use your cell phone. You’ll want to control your emotions by making rational decisions in a knee-jerk reaction method.
When you find yourself over analyzing your reactions to certain situations, take a step back and take a deep breath. Apply the stress relief methods you learn when practicing emotional intelligence.
With practice, you’ll be able to change the way your brain thinks and help you feel more comfortable being in control. You may have setbacks, but in time, you will reap the benefits that emotional intelligence can bring into your life.
News reports about people with anger issues that turn into violence are commonplace today. Road rage, family disputes and workplace violence are all results of people not being able to control their emotions and letting them get out of control in a way that hurts others.
Most of us are able to curb those violent angry feelings, but the anger and uncontrollable reactions may turn into a loss of productivity and words that hurt the ones you love most – and possibly unable to repair.
Emotional intelligence is the power to control those bad reactions and even turn them into positive emotions. Releasing anger and frustration that can build up is necessary, but it must be done in a very mindful way or risk being out of control.
Reactions to situations don’t always result in violence or verbal abuse, but could also make you feel helpless and not in control of your life and what happens to you. For example, if you’re mired in debt, getting a call from a debtor may leave you in a distressed mood and unable to function positively.
Feeling disrespected by a loved one or boss may also bring out emotions that hurt and leave you feeling helpless to counteract others’ control over your life. Finding ways to control your emotions and not let others stress you out helps build your emotional intelligence.
Emotional self-control means that you’re managing the adverse emotions and can remain calm and in control even during stressful times. Without the anger and frustrated feelings you’ll be able to diffuse the direst of situations and stay calm and collected.
It may take time and practice to learn how to control your emotions and reactions using emotional intelligence techniques. The way you respond now is a habit that you’ll need to quash before it takes over your mind and emotions – causing a less than acceptable reaction.
Developing emotional and reactional self-control involves paying close attention to the signals you get from the brain. You’ll know when the destructive thoughts are beginning to form rather than be caught off-guard and have a knee jerk reaction that you won’t be proud of.
Mindfulness is the key to getting your emotions and reactions under control. When emotions like jealousy or anger threaten to get you in trouble, try some emotional intelligence calming techniques to calm yourself and take control
One method might be to count to ten – or take deep breaths until you feel calmer. Any good distraction method can work to calm you down until you’re in control. You might also try a coping mechanism such as trying to look at the situation from another perspective.
That helps you look at the situation more realistically and helps you turn it into a more positive direction. Working on your emotional intelligence is a good way to reverse lack of self-control and other destructive habits.